NASSCAR

Can you possibly think of a better way to spend a Sunday, than to plant your butt down on a couch with some beer and pizza, and watch slow by comparison "race-cars" driven by closet Klan members turn left for three hours? I know I can. The only part of that little evening that sounds like any sort of a good time is the beer and pizza part. Otherwise, I'll chose the dentist over that sad excuse of motor racing. At least there I can maybe get some of that laughing gas and a dope sticker on my way out.

But even worse yet, how is this charade, without question, the most popular form of motor sport in the U.S.? As far as four wheels goes, Formula 1 and WRC rally have the fastest cars, the most skilled drivers, and the toughest race tracks to deal with. They're not quite as spectator friendly as NASCAR, I guess, but that's only because a NASCAR oval is, well, an oval. So there's not much to miss, or see, for that matter. This isn't some debate as to what type of racing is better though, and until there's a market for either of the above mentioned racing disciplines stateside, it's a moot point anyway.

Just hard for any self respecting fan of motors, sports, or motor-sports to call America the greatest country on earth when the illiterate half of the population is tuned into 300 laps of moderately tuned, heavy, V-8's going in circles. At least it's the illiterate half, and not the rest of us who are either playing sports, or watching something that takes skill. Some say you have to see it to understand how exciting it is, but that's true for just about anything. The beaches of New Zealand are going to look a lot better in person than on a flat-screen, regardless of what the guy at Best Buy told you. So that's no excuse as to why anyone would watch NASCAR. I'd rather watch D-Rose cross up the leagues best in person, but that doesn't mean basketball is only exciting in person. NASCAR would be cool to see in person for the first 15 laps.

Moral of the story: Don't watch NASCAR, and don't buy the stuff from the companies that endorses teams like the rest of the idiots that watch it.